I didn’t just read it, I consumed it.
It sat on my bedside table for almost a year, and it’s probably going to remain there as a reminder of what I’ve learned. I tried the theories it discusses and experienced them first hand. For me, they worked. And they worked really well. I can see a difference in myself.
My three biggest takeaways:
1. The importance of being in the present moment and, therefore, a reminder of how mindfulness is key to our well being.
2. The validation that we aren’t meant to be happy all the time (as society expects us to be) because that’s not how humans are wired. In some circumstances, happiness simply can’t be there.
3. The importance of not confusing values with goals.
The last one was so simple to understand, yet so empowering for me.
Values are how we want to live our life. For example, being kind, authentic, honest… They are our principles.
Goals are what we want to achieve. For example, getting a job, writing a book, getting married, etc. They take time, and we might never achieve them. If we achieve them, once we achieve the goal, that’s it. That goal is complete, and we move on to the next one.
Values, on the other hand, are never “achieved” because they are guides, not objectives. You can never take them off the list.
Values are your direction – goals are your destination. So set goals guided by your values. If you live in Edinburgh and you’re heading west (your value), don’t aim for Haddington (your goal).
Practical example: writing a book. This is a goal. The underlying value is that you might want to live a creative life. Write a paragraph – you’ve been creative. So, you don’t have to wait until your book is finished to live a creative life.
When you focus on your values, you can start living a meaningful life now, without waiting for all the stars in the sky to align, because you’re already living in alignment with what matters to you. How powerful.
A very helpful book.
Full Title: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT
Author: Russ Harris
First Published: January 1, 2007